im having a threesome with these popsicles
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
