guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Randomize
