He kissed a someone with a penis
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
