I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
The beer is more important than you right now.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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