You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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