I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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