I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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