I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
