I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Randomize
