pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
you traded sex for a burrito?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
