Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Ladies don't puke and tell
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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