Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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