Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
