there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize