I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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