Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You may now shotgun with the bride
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
