I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
