She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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