I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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