Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
