On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize