I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize