hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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