i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
