Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
