Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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