he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I cut my penus on the lid.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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