Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
