tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
