Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
