Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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