At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
