Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Two words: blizzard sex
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize