Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
