i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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