Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
