i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
