well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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