Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
