You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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