i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
it was like his penis was on wheels.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I want her autograph on my taint
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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