So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize