Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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