you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
