ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
