so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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