Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize