I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
