in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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