You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
