Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
