Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Randomize
