Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
my poor anus
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
