Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
