: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
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