We named our party play list daddy issues
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
