I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
