i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
