I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I think I am morally bankrupt
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
