i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
