I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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