That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
